Aboriginal Sailors!

Ok, this post isn't a happened-only-once-this-morning kinda post, but a collection of the last 6 months of Jaden speak! As most of you know, Jaden is speech delayed. He has just started saying something other then his standard 3 things. The problem is that he has all sorts of issues from leaving off the initial consonant, to leaving off the end of the word, to making up his own idea of what should come in the middle. It turns out that Jadenese usually sounds like an aboriginal sailor. He knows that there is a sound that is supposed to go at the end of words that have a hard g or k sound (such as drink, milk, going, etc). He can't make the appropriate sound so he "clicks". He sounds like the movie "The God's Must be Crazy!" And he's GOOD. His clicks flow right into the words. If Bryan or I try to mimic him there is always a short pause between the rest of the word and the "click". Not so with him!! It sounds so funny! The other part of his speech is really not that funny, or at least it shouldn't be! He swears like a sailor!! Not on purpose, of course, but when you drop out all the consonants from a word, well...


For a mild example, let me tell you about the other day. I took the kids with me to run errands. The were sooooo good so for a special treat when I stopped for gas, I got them each a small Slurpee. Jaden loves Slurpees. He was so excited! We were walking through the gas station store and when he saw the Slurpee machine, he started bounce around yelling "Slurpees! Slurpees!". In Jadenese though, Slurpee has no sl sound. So here he is yelling "Herpes! Herpes!" all through the store. Yeah. Got better too. After we left the gas station, we went to Kmart. I told the kids to leave their Slurpees in the car that we'd only be a few minutes. When we came back out. Jaden is climbing back into his car seat when he catches sight of his half melted Slurpee. He yells out "Herpes Juice!!" *sigh*


For posterity sake, and grandpa's funny bone, I'm gonna include a list of mom's "please don't say that in public!" Jadenese along with words that just need a translation too. All words are spelled phonetically!

Real Word : Jadenese
Popsicle : ah-hole
scoot back : douche ba*click*
Slurpees : herpes
weeble wobbles :ee-abbles (sort of like "eat apples")
firetruck : ire-uc*click*
drink : een*click*
fruit snack: oot- na*click*
going: owe-een*click*
pinch: bi-ch
move: oove
Big: -ig
get off: tit-off

But of course the "mean name" he favors, when he thinks his
siblings are being mean to him comes out crystal clear! "-ig dummy
head!"

Motherhood Job Description...

Ok, so earlier this week Jacob came running in to the kitchen to tell me, "Jaden is naked in the bathroom!" ooookkkk... and I was thinking, "that's bad because why? After all he is potty training." I went upstairs to check on him and I saw him, sans clothing of ANY sort, with a Clorox disinfectant wipe in one hand and the toilet seat in the other. He saw me coming and he quickly threw the non-flushable wipe into the toilet and flushed. AGH! "Jaden, honey what are you doing?!?" He turned around looked at me and said, "Momma's job! Momma's job! Biiiigggg help!" Well, I understood that he thinks it's my job to wipe the bathrooms down everyday and that he was being a big helper and all, but I just had to ask him, "but why are you naked? Where are your clothes?" I should have just left it alone. Will I ever learn? He just stood there and looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. Finally Jake, who had followed me upstairs said, "maybe he finks (thinks) he saw you cleaning the toilet naked, but that must have been a dream cause you don't clean the toilet naked 'cause that would be sooooo silly and you are super -duper silly, but not THAT silly!!" See? Even I have my "silly" standards.

Choo-Choo!!

It's the end of day four of the Potty Train! *Chugga-chugga CHOO-CHOO* Jaden has been really successful at staying dry for the past four days. YIPEE!! He has had three wet pull-ups in that whole time and honestly, they weren't HIS fault. The first one happened while mommy was gone to the gym and daddy was really busy power washing the fence and the deck. It was just too long since we had last asked him. The second was when he fell asleep in the car. Again, not his fault. And the third time he was just too excited. He was going to the kid zone at the gym and told me he didn't have to go because he wanted to BE THERE already! And thankfully, the only one to happen in real underwear instead of a pull-up was the power washing day... and he was outside in the back yard! I am so excited! Now if I could only figure out how to get him to do the "clean" part of "clean and dry"!! Hmmm....

Yesterday was worse than usual. OK, granted Sundays aren't fun to begin with, but yesterday took the top prize! Wrestling with my kids during sacrament meeting is standard, but usually I end up standing in the back with Jaden until he falls asleep and the other three kids know I am watching them from the back and to BEHAVE or they will get it when I come back to sit down again. Yesterday though, instead of falling asleep, Jaden just fought and wiggled more, Ethan wouldn't sit up to save his very life, Kaylee was the only one who remembered to double check that she had a pencil to draw with, and Jake fussed and complained about wanting to draw too. When I stood in the back with Jaden (it was like trying to hold a big bowl full of Jell-o... without the bowl!) the other kids fussed and fought and no matter how dirty and threatening the looks I sent their way, they all ignored me. Sacrament could not end soon enough!! Off to primary we all went. Jaden went to nursery as usual. He is always excited to go, thank goodness for small favors! I had a not so nice time in primary. The thought "Who feed these kids 5 pounds of sugar each?!?" kept running through my mind. So the end of church finally comes and I couldn't be more grateful to still be alive (and my kids and primary class SHOULD have been feeling the same!). I go to pick up Jaden from nursery and to my surprise, Bryan is already there. He says, "we have a problem." OK..... do I really want to know? It turns out that Jaden for some really far out reason, was the nursery bully today. He is usually the really good one! NEVER any problems. He pushed 3 kids down, had time out each time, but it didn't seem to faze him in the slightest, and he bit one of the new little boys in his class!! (And yes, for those who have followed my blog for a while, he went from being the bitten to the bitee. Ironic, huh?!) One of the little girls in his class summed it all up perfectly. She, talking as only a 2 or 3 year old can, says Jaden's name... with a twist. It sounds like "Satan" when she says "Jaden". Can you say apropos?

Father's Day

Well, I have to say, I'm impressed. Kaylee does a lot of things that are well beyond her years as well as being very creative, and I have to admit, I have sort of come to expect that from her, but she surpassed even my expectations. She told me her daddy was a good example for her and so she wrote a poem for him for Father's Day. It goes like this:

You are my sunshine to help me along the way

To Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ who are far away.

Even though I feel them beside me, I want to see them too

And someday I will because of you.

Happy Father's Day Bryan. We have one incredible daughter who loves you very much!

Hopes up only to be piddled on...

Well, Jaden had our hopes up yesterday and this morning. He stayed dry in his big boy pants yesterday evening and then again this morning. He used the potty twice without prompting. Everything was looking GOOD. And then he sat at the table to eat lunch. I don't know what it is about his booster seat, maybe it is too similar to his potty seat, but every time he sits to eat he wets his pants! This morning was no exception. After 3 and a half hours without an accident, he wet enough to soak his undies and leave a little puddle on his booster seat. Bummer!! I put him back into a diaper for church. Seeing as Bryan sits up on the stand during church, I couldn't be running him out to the bathroom every 20 minutes! When we got home, I asked him if he wanted to put big boy pants back on again. A very decisive NO! was the answer. *sigh* someday...

Tomato Wars

Tomato wars. Yes, you heard right. Tomato wars. *sigh* My boys thought it was really fun to have a tomato war with Jaden's cherry tomatoes... IN MY FAMILY ROOM!! I have squished tomato in my carpet, splat marks all over my walls, and banana (yes, banana! Jaden thought he'd join the fun, but the only ammo he had was what was left of his morning snack!) gunk smeared on the floor. The total result? One very yucky room, one very miffed mommy and 4 cleaning slaves in mini bodies! Yes, Kaylee got punished too as she thought it was funny to sit there and watch the whole thing! I will have to steam clean the carpets in both the family room and the living room (tracked in by little feet) today before it really sets in. I am not so happy with my kids right now!