Pathetic, I know.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It has been a really, REALLY, R-E-A-L-L-L-L-Y long time since I posted last. I need to do better, but in my defense, 5 kids, fighting a bat infestation, hubby moving ahead of the rest of us leaving me a "single" mom of said 5, selling a house in this market at a huge loss, moving, finding a new house big enough for all of us in a decent school district in South Carolina, finding out #6 (SUPRISE!!!) is on its way... you get the picture. Its been CRAAAZY in the Hutch Bunch Household. My cell phone kinda has become a blog replacement for me here lately. Since I am a realist, not an optimist, I knew I would have a hard time ever getting around to blogging the funny stuff my kids say and do, so I would text the funny to my hubby, and mom and dad along with any others that would find a particular situation funny.  Well, guess what? My phone died the final death. It was replaced last night and low and behold, saved text messages didn't transfer to the new phone when they did the data transfer. The old phone may not send or receive data anymore, but I can access the old messages while I have a semi battery charge left (not sure it will recharge anymore. Seriously, the thing is dead!). Even though I should be battling the infamous laundry monster and all, I'm not. I want to copy down these memories before I loose access to them completely. Be forewarned, I seem to find my kids saying things that can be construed as swearing, as hilarious enough to share. Hmmm... maybe I need to adjust my humor or something!  Don't say I didn't warn you!

November 16, 2012

 Jaden hurt his knee. Not sure what he did or when. He woke up about 4 am this morning crying because his knee hurt sooo bad. He seemed better when he walked on it. It stiffened right back up when he would stop moving. Thankfully, he rarely stops moving and he did ok today. This evening though, he started crying again and telling us that it was hurting worse and worse. Tricare told us to take him to the ER. Off Bryan went with Jaden in tow. After multiple painfully obtained x-rays, it was determined Jaden did not have a broken bone. They doped him up on pain killers and man, he was a GOOBER. He told his dad all about good medicine and bad medicine. The good kind was what they had given him in his IV. The bad kind was the kind he had to take by mouth because it tasted gross. He was sooo loopy! Wish we had had a video camera on him. He wanted to leave his IV in so he could show his friends at school the next day.

November 16, 2012
     In order to finish off scout requirements for advancement, Ethan has to sleep in a tent that he has pitched. Bryan's at the ER with Jaden tonight and I am still struggling with morning sickness.  Not to mention its FREEZING (literally 32 degrees and all!) outside and I DON'T DO COLD!! SO the tent is pitched in the back yard right near the back door. Ethan and Jacob seem to think they are going to sleep out there. Jake lasted till about midnight and came in crying about the cold.  He opted to head upstairs to his warm bed. Ethan lasted till about 4, came in looking like a blue Popsicle and asked if 4am was close enough to count as completing the requirement.  I said yes.  After all, on a scout camp out there is always one that wakes up extra early, right?

November 23, 2012
Took the kids and Grandma and grandpa Goettl to the zoo today. Kids had a great time. Didn't loose anybody. Well, at least for very long anyway! Walking along I paused and asked my mom for the camera. Then a bird in the tree overhead drops a bomb. Manages to miss my hair mostly, and slide down my back, IN my shirt.EEEEWWWWWWWWW. kids thought it was hilarious. Me not so much. Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue, I guess!

July 21, 2012
 At the pool.  Jaden is doing flying belly flops(!) off the deck of the pool: "Cannon bombs are cool because they are like bump bombs (fist bump followed by a high 5), but belly bombs are better 'cause they squish my ice cream belly!"

July 14, 2012 *BAD word warning!*
Took Kaylee, Jaden, and Grayson to Wendy's for dinner as a special treat for dinner tonight. We are eating at one of the tables by the window and Jaden is watching about a dozen hawks riding the currents outside. All of a sudden he yells at the top of his lungs "there is a bunch of pecker heads outside!" Um, yeah. I tell him, loudly, so all around can hear me too, "I think you mean woodpeckers, don't you bud?" He says, "That's what I said! Those are some really big peckers!" I think we are going to be asked to leave as soon as the employees can quit laughing.

February 26, 2012 *BAD word warning!*
Jaden:"mom, I can read that!" Points to the 21st Century Fox logo on the movie.  He sounds it out,  "ffffff--uuuu-x!  It says fux!"
Mom: "uhhhhhhh... close honey!"
Jaden: "Oh, wait! It says FOX! Aren't I a good reader now mom?"
Mom: "The best, baby!"

January 21, 2012
    Hahahaha!  Jaden's singing a new version of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town".  It goes something like this:
"You better stop that,
You better not whine,
you better not cry to Santa cause he doesn't like cry babies"

Second verse is more of the same but includes threats of spankings from Santa for Christmas if you whine!

Snaggletooth Bumble Bees Rock!

Well, it seems poor Grayson has a really tough time with teething. When you can see the tooth through the gum and in any other baby would be able to say that the tooth will break through in the next 2 days or less.... well, let's just say that you need to push that estimate upward by a week or two... or six! He has had all four of the front teeth (2 top, 2 bottom) that you could SEE the tooth clearly for weeks and weeks. He finally broke through a tooth on the bottom. Two weeks later, the second bottom tooth finally made an appearance. We thought the top two teeth would be close behind. And we were right. Sort of. One of the top front teeth broke through last week, a month after the bottom ones. Today he was fussing and crying and he bit me! I checked his mouth and guess what? We have 4 teeth!! Just not the ones we expected. It seems that the tooth in the top front isn't ready to come out and play yet, but its neighbor is! Our little snaggletooth looks like a jack-o-lantern with 2 bottom teeth, crooked as all get out, a top front tooth then an open space then another tooth. Beeeeuuutiful smile, Babes!

Some help please. For weeks now, Jaden has been talking about the "Bumble Bee Place" and how badly he wants to go there. We cannot figure out what in the world he is talking about. All he can tell us about it is that "its far away from my far far friend's house. And I want to go there. And it has tools and wood and thin wood that I can cut. And I want to go there bad!" And before you ask, it's NOT Home Depot (even though with all the unwanted renovations going on currently at the Hutcherson castle, Home Depot has become our most frequented store and second home). He's obsessed. He asks if we are going to the Bumble Bee Place at least six times a day. It has gotten really bad. He is clearly frustrated with Bryan and I as we can't figure out what he is talking about. It just breaks my heart to see the disappointment that is clearly evident on his face when I tell him no, not today. Any ideas??

Best Buddies!

Today Jaden reminded me, in his lovely four year old way, of 2 things. One, that he is always watching and he is more aware then we might give him credit for. And two, we are so very blessed to have the family that we have! As soon as the big kids and daddy were out the door, the little guys and I headed up to Chesterfield to take Kaylee's euphonium to be looked at... again. A story for another time. When we reached the corner by our house Jaden says, "Look mom! That's the church Grandma goes too!" Sure enough, he was pointing at the Baptist church on the corner that my mother-in-law attends when she is visiting us. It has been a long time since her last visit and I didn't even realize that he knew that Grandma choose that church to attend. Our kids are very observant and that means that I need to be setting the example I want them to follow at ALL times! How daunting! The conversation went on. "Does Grandpa go there too?" Jaden asked hesitantly. "No, Jaden. Grandma Talley goes there and Grandma and Grandpa Goettl go to our church."
"oh, that's right, I forgot for a minute. You know mom, Grandpa is my very best buddy and I know he loves me lots and lots!"
Yes, yes, sweet Jaden, he most certainly does.

Grayson

Sometimes when something awful happens, it takes some time to recover. Its been 3 weeks and I still have no desire to write this post. In fact the only reason I am writing this is because of something Bryan said. When he was taking a photo of an injured Grayson (see photo below) and I told him to stop, don't take pictures of our injured baby, he said, "twenty years from now, when you tell him this story, you are going to be grateful that I took a picture". And he's right. Dang it! If we don't write down our trials for our kids to see/read/learn from then we are doing them a disservice. Hopefully, Grayson will be able to tell from reading this that, 1. I love him more than life itself 2. that sometimes bad things happen and we can do nothing about them except learn something 3. that even though my brain says "not my fault" I find that I am closely related to Rex from Toy Story. "Now I have GUILT!" and so Grayson, I am so sorry that I let harm befall you! and 4. Well, there is a #4, but I think that I will tell you it after the main event. So.... here's Grayson's story.

It was a typical Thursday morning. After seeing the big kids off to school, the plan was to do a little housework, wash a few loads of the ever present laundry, and then Grayson and I were gonna hit the gym to swim and stop at the library. I took him upstairs and put the baby gate up at the top of the stairs. I even made sure that it was steady and secure. We pulled all of the 12 month old toys out of the attic a few weeks ago and they were all cleaned up and in his room. The last few days before "the incident" he had played happily with his new toys while I did the daily upstairs jobs. Today was no different. I had just finished making my bed and was headed to my bathroom to wipe it down when I heard the baby gate crash and a little thump... thump... thump... coming from the stairs I rushed out of the room in time to see Grayson falling head over heels down the bottom third of the stairs to crash down hard on his head on the wood flooring in the foyer. His momentum flipped him over on to his stomach where he lay still. I seriously think my heart stopped. I screamed his name and went flying down the stairs, almost falling in the process. He was screaming by the time I got to him, but he was still laying still. I very carefully rolled him over and saw the huge purple lump on his head. I did the only smart thing and called 911. Grayson laid there on the floor screaming, not trying to roll over to get up, not reaching out for me to hold him. I was so scared. I couldn't form coherent thoughts, let alone sentences. I managed to text 911 to Bryan and I kept trying to pray. All I could get out was "O Heavenly Father, PLEASE help him!" Grayson quit crying in order to hear the siren better as it approached. That helped me to back away from the edge of full blown hysteria. The paramedics arrived to find me in tears and close to, but not quit, hysterical and Grayson laying QUIETLY on the floor. The paramedics asked me what had happened and once I had told them, they started looking Grayson over. The paramedic asked me if he was always this quiet. I said no and Grayson backed me up by starting to scream again. They placed his neck in an immobilizer and strapped him carefully to a backboard. They told me to grab my purse, shoes, a favorite stuffed animal or blankie for Grayson and anything else I might need for the ambulance ride. I was only partially with it as I remembered to grab Grayson's bear, but not my shoes or my purse. I had to head back upstairs a second time to get my shoes. We all loaded up in the ambulance and took off for MCV, a Richmond area hospital with a trauma center 30 minutes away. We took off and the EMT in the back of the ambulance continued to check Grayson over and asked me questions about what had happened, how he'd hit the floor, and he keep check Gryason's vital signs. About 10 minutes into the ride, Grayson cried himself to sleep! The medic woke him up, and he stayed awake for about 20 seconds then closed his eyes again. This time when the EMT tried to wake him, he didn't respond. I started calling his name and touching his face. He finally opened his eyes a little, but didn't seem to be focusing on anything. It was the longest 30 minutes of my entire life!! Once we arrived they took him straight into the trauma area of the ER. I couldn't go with him. Thus began the second longest 30 minutes of my life! I think it weighed in as the second worst only because in my head I knew they were doing what was best for him. I cried and paced and cried some more. The kind female chaplain that was waiting for me when the ambulance arrived tried to distract me, but it didn't work. A nurse came and got me and said they were almost finished with Gryason and that I could go back to see him. When I got back there they were repeating the chest x-ray. He was wiggling too much on the first one. Once he was in my arms again, I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time since this all began. Grayson quit screaming as soon as I picked him up, and even though he was still wearing the neck collar, we both felt that the world was back on its proper axis. They wanted to keep an eye on Grayson for a while, but were confident enough that he was OK, that they downgraded him from a trauma patient to a regular er patient and sent us to wait in a room in the children's ER. Bryan arrived about then after rushing home from school to find my van in the driveway and Grayson and I gone. He called the 3 hospitals closest to us and we weren't there. He finally located us by talking to the neighbor. (Our sweet neighbor came down to see if we needed any help with the kids so that I could be with Grayson. Luckily, Jaden was at preschool and a quick call to a good friend took care of him.) Bryan gave Grayson a blessing first thing. When Grayson's blood work came back, there was a little bit of worry. His lactic acid levels were elevated a bit. The doctor explained it to us that it either meant that Grayson was a little dehydrated after all the screaming and crying he had done or that it could also signal tissue damage. They gave him IV fluids to rehydrate him and then repeated his blood work. The second time around his levels came back good. The doctors felt that since there was no symptoms of head trauma, beyond his several bumps, that he could have his neck brace removed. He was so much happier once it was off. Then, we waited, and waited some more. They keep checking him for signs of a head injury and keep a close eye on him. About 6 hours later, they finally decided that he could go home. We had strict instructions on what to watch for and we were told not to hesitate for a second to bring him back if he wasn't himself.

All told, the little man "walked" away from it all with 3 lumps on his head (the one on his temple was the worst and over the next few days turned pretty black and purple), a bruise on his shoulder, a bruise line across his back (we think he hit the front edge of a stair), and a healthy size momma complex. He doesn't like to have ANYONE else hold him, feed him, or play with him except momma! I'm taking that as a good sign that he doesn't blame me!

So, the 4th lesson from this experience is this: never trust the baby gate. Literally and figuratively. I know I will never trust that a baby gate will keep you safe ever again. And Grayson, I hope that you never trust your "gates" to keep you safe either. Boundaries and limits that we impose on ourselves are a good idea, but we mustn't assume that we can crawl right up to them and pull ourselves up on them and expect them to hold our full weight. Our limits of what we will and will not do, what is right and what is wrong, aren't meant to be tested. We aren't supposed to see how close we can get without knocking them down. Keeping ourselves far back from that edge keeps us safe and happy. You never know when one of those gates will let you down. I want you to be happy, just like you were when we left the hospital, safe and snug with your bear in your car seat! I love you my little man.

Conversations of a four year old...

Matt (Jaden's best friend. He is 5) and Jaden were eating lunch together today and their conversation together went something like this:

Matt: "My dad is AWESOME! I do everything he tells me to! (yeah, sure you do...) Jaden, is your dad awesome too?"

Jaden: "No... (long pause here as he thinks...), but he's FUNNY!"

Is Rude a Color?

It is so hard when the babes are sick!! I think it's inversely proportionate; the younger they are the harder it is when they are sick. And not just because they can't tell you where it hurts or why they are crying. It's more "the look" they give you. All you moms and dads out there know exactly what I am talking about. "The look" you get from your little babe when he is so very sad, burning up with fever for days on end. The flushed with fever cheeks, dull eyes, crocodile tears leaking from the corners of the eye, and the pieces de resistance: the trembling pouty lower lip. "The look", the one he sends your way when he feels soooo bad. You can practically HEAR the unspoken question in "the look", "mommy, why don't you fix it and make me feel better?" The accusation that you are not helping him and he doesn't understand why, it just tears your heart out! I saw "the look" this past week, more than once unfortunately. Grayson has occasionally had the sniffles and has met the dreaded booger sucker before, and he had a tummy bug once (although that was just barely different from his usual reflux-y self), but until last week, he hasn't been truly sick. It started Tuesday evening when I was getting him ready for bed. He felt a bit warm, but he is after all, 9 months old and still toothless. I thought it might be from teething (and if any of you spout at me about how teething DOESN'T cause a low fever, be careful, this mother of 5 might kick you. Kids have 20 teeth each. That's 80 and running...) He was cranky and crabby, more then his usual bedtime bit. He went to bed and by morning I knew his 101-102 fever was more then a teething fever. All Wednesday and Thursday he ran a fever. On Friday morning it inched up a bit to the 102 range. I called the doctor only to be told "We're all filled today. No appointments available (there never is, I might add. Around here you have to plan on being sick and schedule your appointment a week out to actually be seen when you need it). If he's truly sick (as if I would call if he wasn't!) you can request urgent care authorization from the on call doctor. If his fever goes above 103, he should be in the ER." OK. Nothing I didn't already know, thanks so much for nothing! We watched him all day Friday and he got worse. He slept most of the day Friday and we did the alternating Tylenol and Motrin trying to control the fever. I think he had 4, maybe 5, baths that day too. Friday night about 8, I took his temp again. 104.5. Holy crap. Off we go to the ER. What does Grayson do first? He pukes. Orange. The look on the docs face was priceless! "Ummmm... is that... Popsicle?" Nope. Carrots. :) After looking him over and ruling out ear infections and listening to his lungs which were clear, they first were sure it was the flu. Negative. Then it was most certainly RSV. Nope. Then it was finally decided that it was viral, something that I already known. "It's viral. You are gonna have to wait it out... most likely here, in the hospital so we can keep him hydrated." What? He is hydrated! I have managed to do that just fine for the last 4 days thank you very much! The doctor started lecturing me about the importance of keeping sick children well hydrate, the signs of dehydration, the consequences of such, etc. etc, ad naseum. It wasn't that he was going over this information, after all he has no way of knowing me, my abilities, my background, but it was the way he spoke to me. Like I was a child. A slow child. As he is telling me about all the ways you can assess how well hydrated a baby is, he is showing me on Grayson. When he's about finished, he says, "well, he isn't dehydrated at all. I thought he was earlier when he threw up." Wow. THe doctor starts writing a prescription for Grayson for an anti emetic medication... for my 9 month old, not dehydrated baby, who has only thrown up once, who throws up as a result of a strong gag reflex due to his GERD (reflux) on a regular basis... Hmm. When he told me that the medication was in tablet form and "not to freak out", I had had enough. I interrupted, "Oh, it's sublinguial, half a tablet then? Got it. I have 5 kids. I have been here. Done this. Have the T-shirt." Just color me rude. Grayson took another 3 days to finally shake the fever and on Tuesday, a week after this all started, was doing pretty good. Today is Thursday and guess who's sick again?

Things to Know...

OK, I know. It's been too long since I last posted. Things have been absolutley crazy around here for the last several months. And it's still crazy enough that I am not actually writing a real post. My good friend shared this on her blog and I about died laughing and thought I need to share it too. Thanks to you, my friend!! Hope it makes your day(s) brighter. It did mine.

Lesson 1
Getting prepared for the grocery bill.
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons.

How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.