Aboriginal Sailors!

Ok, this post isn't a happened-only-once-this-morning kinda post, but a collection of the last 6 months of Jaden speak! As most of you know, Jaden is speech delayed. He has just started saying something other then his standard 3 things. The problem is that he has all sorts of issues from leaving off the initial consonant, to leaving off the end of the word, to making up his own idea of what should come in the middle. It turns out that Jadenese usually sounds like an aboriginal sailor. He knows that there is a sound that is supposed to go at the end of words that have a hard g or k sound (such as drink, milk, going, etc). He can't make the appropriate sound so he "clicks". He sounds like the movie "The God's Must be Crazy!" And he's GOOD. His clicks flow right into the words. If Bryan or I try to mimic him there is always a short pause between the rest of the word and the "click". Not so with him!! It sounds so funny! The other part of his speech is really not that funny, or at least it shouldn't be! He swears like a sailor!! Not on purpose, of course, but when you drop out all the consonants from a word, well...


For a mild example, let me tell you about the other day. I took the kids with me to run errands. The were sooooo good so for a special treat when I stopped for gas, I got them each a small Slurpee. Jaden loves Slurpees. He was so excited! We were walking through the gas station store and when he saw the Slurpee machine, he started bounce around yelling "Slurpees! Slurpees!". In Jadenese though, Slurpee has no sl sound. So here he is yelling "Herpes! Herpes!" all through the store. Yeah. Got better too. After we left the gas station, we went to Kmart. I told the kids to leave their Slurpees in the car that we'd only be a few minutes. When we came back out. Jaden is climbing back into his car seat when he catches sight of his half melted Slurpee. He yells out "Herpes Juice!!" *sigh*


For posterity sake, and grandpa's funny bone, I'm gonna include a list of mom's "please don't say that in public!" Jadenese along with words that just need a translation too. All words are spelled phonetically!

Real Word : Jadenese
Popsicle : ah-hole
scoot back : douche ba*click*
Slurpees : herpes
weeble wobbles :ee-abbles (sort of like "eat apples")
firetruck : ire-uc*click*
drink : een*click*
fruit snack: oot- na*click*
going: owe-een*click*
pinch: bi-ch
move: oove
Big: -ig
get off: tit-off

But of course the "mean name" he favors, when he thinks his
siblings are being mean to him comes out crystal clear! "-ig dummy
head!"

Motherhood Job Description...

Ok, so earlier this week Jacob came running in to the kitchen to tell me, "Jaden is naked in the bathroom!" ooookkkk... and I was thinking, "that's bad because why? After all he is potty training." I went upstairs to check on him and I saw him, sans clothing of ANY sort, with a Clorox disinfectant wipe in one hand and the toilet seat in the other. He saw me coming and he quickly threw the non-flushable wipe into the toilet and flushed. AGH! "Jaden, honey what are you doing?!?" He turned around looked at me and said, "Momma's job! Momma's job! Biiiigggg help!" Well, I understood that he thinks it's my job to wipe the bathrooms down everyday and that he was being a big helper and all, but I just had to ask him, "but why are you naked? Where are your clothes?" I should have just left it alone. Will I ever learn? He just stood there and looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. Finally Jake, who had followed me upstairs said, "maybe he finks (thinks) he saw you cleaning the toilet naked, but that must have been a dream cause you don't clean the toilet naked 'cause that would be sooooo silly and you are super -duper silly, but not THAT silly!!" See? Even I have my "silly" standards.