Deep Breathing...

I am convinced that all that separated my two youngest children from meeting "psycho-mommy" today was deep breathing. OK this afternoon, Jaden was first. I was in the kitchen loading lunch dishes into the dishwasher and Jaden was upstairs playing with his trucks and blocks (those came down from an "attic vacation" today so he has been enthralled! So nice!). Anyway, I walked out of the kitchen to change the laundry out (the laundry room is all of 3 feet from the kitchen for those who haven't seen my house before) and I carried the clean basket into the living room and set it on the couch. I turn back around and there he is. He HAD to have been watching me and waiting for me to leave the kitchen. He had pushed a chair over to the counter, climbed up from the chair to the counter, to the microwave to the TOP of the fridge, and reached across and got the scissors down. He then got the unopened bag of chocolate chips out of the freezer, cut them open, and was "hiding" under the kitchen table eating as fast as he could. Deep breathing.... This evening was round two. Jake was in the shower upstairs, Kaylee was supposed to be in the shower downstairs (that's a whole other deep breathing story right there!!), and again Jaden was playing in his room. I finished cleaning up dinner dishes and went to fold that basket of laundry and yes, it WAS still sitting on my couch! I only folded like 4 things when I realized that I could hear Jake talking, but it sounded like the shower was still running. Deep breath. I go up stairs expecting that he got out of the shower, but didn't turn it off. Deep breath. It turned out it was the toilet, the chain had gotten twisted up a little and the flap wasn't closing. No biggie. I figured that since I was already upstairs, I would get the boys teeth brushed, PJ's on, etc. and that we would have time for a few extra stories tonight. I go into their bedroom and Jake blurts out, "Jaden has chocolate and he is hiding over there!!" Deep breath. I look and he is sandwiched between the dresser and the edge of the bed, a bag of chocolate chips in one hand, a little cup from the play kitchen full of chips in the other, and his cheeks looking more like a squirrels then a little boys! Deep breath. I took away the chips and Jake goes, "and he had these chocolates over here too!" and produces a little play frying pan full of chips... from the other side of the room. Hmmm.. I think something STINKS! Sure enough I was right. I asked Jake if he had eaten any and he said no. I could SMELL the chocolate!! I mean come on! I am a mom, a pregnant woman, and a chocoholic to boot, OF COURSE, I can smell it!! Deep breath. So I tell him to open his mouth, I check his teeth, and they are covered with chocolate too! Deep breath. I told him, "Jake, don't lie to me! I know you had chocolate!" You know what he says to me? "Huh-uh!! Jaden was dropping them into my mouth!" I just looked at him. Deep breath. "He even made me chew them too!" Deep breath. If they don't cut it out soon I'm gonna hyperventilate!!