Ummm...

Jaden just walked up to me and informed me, "I'm poopy... too bad!" and then turned around and walked away. *sigh*

And You're OUT!!

This morning Jaden made me just crack up! He is pretty well potty trained, but if you don't take off his "night-time diaper" right away, then he'll just use it instead of going to all the trouble to use the potty. This morning I didn't get to him fast enough to change him into underwear and so he was poopy. I took the diaper off and cleaned him all up. Now, the thing with Jaden and diapers is that he really and truly believes that they are HIS. When I change him, he HAS to be the one to carry the diaper to throw away. Most of the time that is just great, but stinky ones.... well, they go straight out to the outside trash and he has a hard time getting the back door open. I tried to get him to let me take it out this morning, but he INSISTED. So I told him, "Jaden that one is soooo stinky that it needs to go out to the blue garbage can outside." He looks at me and says "-i*click* own?" (Jadenese translation: "The big one?") "Yes," I said, "the big one out in the back yard." Jaden said, ""o-tay!" and headed out of the room. As he goes around the corner to head downstairs I hear, "tin*click*y i-a-per, oow ouda ear!!" (translation: "Stinky Diaper, you're outta here!!"

Obsession

Alright. Today it's all about Jaden. Jaden L-O-V-E-S anything to do with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. He is obsessed. He got a little stuffed Donald for his birthday... he had a Toodles cake... he got a mickey mouse look and find book... he carries Donald everywhere... he sleeps with him every night... he FREAKS out if someone else picks Donald up... you get the picture! Mickey and Donald rock his world! OK, so last night we took the kids out for a celebratory Chinese dinner (everyones' favorite) 'cause we survived the first week of school! Yeah! Anyway, the Chinese place we like is in Midlothian, about a 25 minute drive away. We are headed up there and as expected, Jaden fell asleep in the car. We did not want him to fall asleep in the car! He is horrendous when he wakes up! I wanted him to eat before he fell asleep. Since I was driving, Bryan kinda turned in his seat and tried to wake him. He called his name, moved his head side to side, rubbed his chest... nothing, not even an eyelid flicker. So Bryan breaks out the Donald Duck voice (he actually can do a really good imitation of Donald!!). Jaden's eyes fly wide open, he sits straight up and yells at the top of his lungs, "DONALD DUCK!!!" and then his head falls to the side again and his eyes close right back up and by the next breath he was snoring again. Bryan and I were laughing so hard that I am sure we were a driving hazard!

Genius!

OK, so this is how it goes around here. We are all in the kitchen, me fixing dinner, Ethan sitting at the table watching and Jacob is flappin' around, bouncing from person to person, talking everyone's ears OFF, and in general being a pesky 5 year old! Ethan gets tired of it and finally tells him, "I bet you can't find the play donut!" I look at Ethan out of the corner of my eye thinking, "That little sneak! He knows that I put all the play food in "time-out" Jacob will never be able to find the play donut!" Well, sneaky or not, it worked for a while. Jacob bounced on out of the kitchen and we had relative peace... for about 30 seconds. Jacob comes dancing back in (I swear the boy cannot hold still!). He's flitting around for about 5 seconds when he stops cold. He just freezes, mid word, mid dance. and stares. Then he says with copious amounts of utter amazement in his voice, "I'm a GENIUS!" He walks over to the deep freeze, reaches between the wall and the freezer and pulls out the play donut! He brings it over to me, carefully, cupping the plastic toy in his hands like it's the Holy Grail, and repeats himself, "I'm a GENIUS!" Two hours later, Daddy hits the door, and we have a repeat performance, again, "I am a GENIUS!". Glad to know he's figured out so early, what I've known all along!

Aboriginal Sailors!

Ok, this post isn't a happened-only-once-this-morning kinda post, but a collection of the last 6 months of Jaden speak! As most of you know, Jaden is speech delayed. He has just started saying something other then his standard 3 things. The problem is that he has all sorts of issues from leaving off the initial consonant, to leaving off the end of the word, to making up his own idea of what should come in the middle. It turns out that Jadenese usually sounds like an aboriginal sailor. He knows that there is a sound that is supposed to go at the end of words that have a hard g or k sound (such as drink, milk, going, etc). He can't make the appropriate sound so he "clicks". He sounds like the movie "The God's Must be Crazy!" And he's GOOD. His clicks flow right into the words. If Bryan or I try to mimic him there is always a short pause between the rest of the word and the "click". Not so with him!! It sounds so funny! The other part of his speech is really not that funny, or at least it shouldn't be! He swears like a sailor!! Not on purpose, of course, but when you drop out all the consonants from a word, well...


For a mild example, let me tell you about the other day. I took the kids with me to run errands. The were sooooo good so for a special treat when I stopped for gas, I got them each a small Slurpee. Jaden loves Slurpees. He was so excited! We were walking through the gas station store and when he saw the Slurpee machine, he started bounce around yelling "Slurpees! Slurpees!". In Jadenese though, Slurpee has no sl sound. So here he is yelling "Herpes! Herpes!" all through the store. Yeah. Got better too. After we left the gas station, we went to Kmart. I told the kids to leave their Slurpees in the car that we'd only be a few minutes. When we came back out. Jaden is climbing back into his car seat when he catches sight of his half melted Slurpee. He yells out "Herpes Juice!!" *sigh*


For posterity sake, and grandpa's funny bone, I'm gonna include a list of mom's "please don't say that in public!" Jadenese along with words that just need a translation too. All words are spelled phonetically!

Real Word : Jadenese
Popsicle : ah-hole
scoot back : douche ba*click*
Slurpees : herpes
weeble wobbles :ee-abbles (sort of like "eat apples")
firetruck : ire-uc*click*
drink : een*click*
fruit snack: oot- na*click*
going: owe-een*click*
pinch: bi-ch
move: oove
Big: -ig
get off: tit-off

But of course the "mean name" he favors, when he thinks his
siblings are being mean to him comes out crystal clear! "-ig dummy
head!"

Motherhood Job Description...

Ok, so earlier this week Jacob came running in to the kitchen to tell me, "Jaden is naked in the bathroom!" ooookkkk... and I was thinking, "that's bad because why? After all he is potty training." I went upstairs to check on him and I saw him, sans clothing of ANY sort, with a Clorox disinfectant wipe in one hand and the toilet seat in the other. He saw me coming and he quickly threw the non-flushable wipe into the toilet and flushed. AGH! "Jaden, honey what are you doing?!?" He turned around looked at me and said, "Momma's job! Momma's job! Biiiigggg help!" Well, I understood that he thinks it's my job to wipe the bathrooms down everyday and that he was being a big helper and all, but I just had to ask him, "but why are you naked? Where are your clothes?" I should have just left it alone. Will I ever learn? He just stood there and looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. Finally Jake, who had followed me upstairs said, "maybe he finks (thinks) he saw you cleaning the toilet naked, but that must have been a dream cause you don't clean the toilet naked 'cause that would be sooooo silly and you are super -duper silly, but not THAT silly!!" See? Even I have my "silly" standards.

Choo-Choo!!

It's the end of day four of the Potty Train! *Chugga-chugga CHOO-CHOO* Jaden has been really successful at staying dry for the past four days. YIPEE!! He has had three wet pull-ups in that whole time and honestly, they weren't HIS fault. The first one happened while mommy was gone to the gym and daddy was really busy power washing the fence and the deck. It was just too long since we had last asked him. The second was when he fell asleep in the car. Again, not his fault. And the third time he was just too excited. He was going to the kid zone at the gym and told me he didn't have to go because he wanted to BE THERE already! And thankfully, the only one to happen in real underwear instead of a pull-up was the power washing day... and he was outside in the back yard! I am so excited! Now if I could only figure out how to get him to do the "clean" part of "clean and dry"!! Hmmm....